21 May 2011

If you'll open up the door, we'll all come inside and eat your brains!

It may well be that all this talk of a two millennia old zombie rising again to reap millions of fresh victims today is really the harbinger of the Zombie Apocalypse. Even the CDC has acknowledged that we should be prepared for this eventuality.

Annual Zombie Walks seem to be ever-growing in popularity, a sure sign of how people will behave once the plague of undeath is upon us.  If people will wander the streets en masse in tattered clothes smeared with grime and gore while their brains are still intact, just imagine what they'll do with their executive functions impaired!

This past Tuesday, I attended a Columbus Science Pub meetup for a very informative and entertaining talk about the neurobiology of slow-moving zombies by Dr. Steven C. Schlozman, author of The Zombie Autopsies.  I now have a better understanding of the level of brain damage it would take to turn a human being into a rabid, flesh-eating monster.  Perhaps it was fate that this event was scheduled just days prior to the Rapture?

The signs are clear: we are mere hours away from being overwhelmed by hordes of voracious, pitiless, mindless zombies who will bring an end to civilization as we know it.  And if it doesn't happen today, be prepared for it to happen any day now.

Creative Commons License

Creative Commons License